Enduring Spark

"The others can wait. Put yourself in your shoes"

Hi. Hello. Welcome.

This is the first post for my blog, Enduring Spark. The intention here is to somehow help people, whether that's through advice or humour or discussion of topics near and dear. There's nothing particularly notable about my life that makes me the best person to help others, but if there's a chance that what I've learned through my life so far can be passed on to others, and be beneficial, then I would be remiss to not share it.

I don't know when it happened, but somehow I've become a well-rounded individual. This is both exciting and distressing! It's not that I've somehow reached a golden age of being either, as I'm sure that I'm far from having everything worked out. Right now I am fitter, more confident, and more able than I have been for most of the past few years.

To summarise (and I might get to the actual crux of these short points at some point in the future), I'm regularly shy, I am very empathetic, and have gone through some dark soul-crushing periods in my life.

If you're going through a rough period now, first you should know that things will get better. I was fortunate enough to always believe that I would eventually get past those trials that tested me, even though I couldn't see a way out. Seeing as how many tend to assume I'm pessimistic (and may actually be at times), this was no simple trick. I knew that somewhere at the end of the tunnel, there was a bright light, and it WASN'T an oncoming train! I expected it to take 5-10 years to get there, but I just believed things would work out in the future.

One thing that helps, was to think of something to strive toward. If you honestly believe that one day you will be a space cowboy with billions of dollars, then that's fine. Mine, I pictured a home - my own-to-be, which had a garden and a barbecue area. I'm not there yet, but it was something that helped me gain focus. I went about my way with the notion that it was something I could work towards, and I could work out the steps to get me there. If yours is still the space cowboy with billions of dollars, remember who helped you get there!

Now, I'm a nice person. I don't mean that's what I am now (though I am), but that I've always been pretty nice. I've also been blessed to have a wonderful imagination. Those things have helped. It's strange trying to list things I feel are good about myself, because I've tended towards negativity when I talk about myself. It's not advised.

Sometimes it's not even that you don't know how to do things that are in your way. It's that it seems futile - not because it is too hard, but because you don't think it matters. That's been a recurring theme with me- for a long time, I thought of myself as a nothing. A blight on the world. I still have my days, in fact.

That said though, I was wrong. For a time, it was only when I drank a lot that I started to believe that I wasn't as terrible as I thought I was. Then it was my dreams. Finally, it started to manifest in my everyday life. It wasn't magic though, but work. You can't deny the benefits of an external influence telling you how amazingly worthwhile a person they think you are. Sadly, we don't all have a person that does that in our lives, at least not that we hear.

If the future-you could come back, they would tell you "You're going to get there. Things are going to be wonderful, and you won't believe how great they are. Thank you."

Do you know why your future-self is thanking you? It was your strength to change, to press on despite the obstacles and doubts, that got them there. If could imagine what they feel, it would be gratitude, and a sense of being self-assured. You can share their senses, knowing that you will make it, and feel the satisfaction ahead of time. It doesn't mean you're there yet, but it's a taste of where you will be.

Your future-self can do the opposite, too. They could put themselves back in your shoes (also theirs, of course) and feel empathy for everything you're going through, and share the burdens you feel because by then, they can take it better than you can. If you're in a pit of sorrow at the moment, spare your worldly views, spare your charity and compassion for just an inch of time, and pour it into feeling empathy for someone very important. Yourself.